


Beside You

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depressed Dean, Emotions, Fluff, I just wanted Dean to open up, M/M, Sam helps, Wincest - Freeform, established wincest, possible smut in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 00:23:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1622312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean finally decides to talk to Sam about how he's feeling. Sort of inspired by the song Beside You by Marianas Trench.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beside You

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own spn or the characters.

Sam had noticed that Dean wasn’t acting like himself lately. Sure, Dean had always been a little moody and a little angry, but this was different. Dean didn’t leave his room, he didn’t eat. Sam was getting really worried, but no matter how many times Sam offered to talk about it, Dean ignored him or tried to change the subject. Sam wanted to support and help his brother, but he didn’t know how to do that when Dean refused to let him in.

 

Sam was reading on his bed when he heard a knock on his door. “Sammy?” Dean called gently through the door. “Can I come in?”

 

“It’s open,” Sam answered and Dean opened the door. Dean was barefoot, in plaid pajama pants and a grey t-shirt. “What’s up?” Sam asked.

 

“I just... I really need to talk to you. I don’t know how to talk about feelings and crap, but I think I need to,” Dean told Sam timidly. Sam motioned for Dean to come sit on the bed across from him. Dean sat down with his legs crossed. “How do you start these things?”

 

“Why don’t you just tell me what’s bothering you most?”

 

“Okay... Well, I just feel like everything’s my fault. If I wouldn’t have got in the way, you’d probably be a lawyer, married, kids... I ruined that. You would be happy. It would have been so much easier if I’d just left you alone. Or if I never existed at all. I ruined so many people’s lives, Sam. Everyone would be better off without me,” Dean was trying to hide the tears in his eyes, but Sam had already noticed.

 

“Dean, that’s not true. Not at all. You did not ruin my life, you made it so much better. I lost Jessica, and without you, the demon that killed her _and_ mom would probably still be out there. You gave me the courage to take on Lucifer. Ever since we were little kids, you have always been my idol. You saved so many people’s lives, some of them without even knowing it,” Sam tried to comfort his older brother.

 

“But what about the people who died because of me?” Dean protested. “There are so many people who would be alive if they had never met me... Why do I get to be alive when they don’t? Why do I have to save everyone? Why can’t I be just another guy?”

 

Sam wasn’t really sure how to respond to that. He hesitated a bit before saying, “I know that you don’t want to hear me say that life isn’t fair, because we have both been through enough to know that. But everyone has a purpose, everyone has a reason to be alive. Sometimes we don’t know what that is, sometimes we lose sight of it, but it’s always there. It isn’t your job to save everyone, Dean. That’s impossible. All you need to focus on is the present moment. You can’t change the past, and the future’s going to come whether you want it to or not. Right now is all we have.”

 

Dean sighed, “I guess... I just feel so alone. I feel like everyone is counting on me and I have no one to lean on for support.”

 

“You have me,” Sam smiled. “I will be here for you no matter what. I will always have your back. All you need to do is reach out and I’ll be there for you. We’re in this for the long run, Dean. No matter what comes at us in the future, we have each other, and that’s all we need. Trust me, we’ll be okay.”

 

Dean moved closer to his brother to hug him. He had never felt as safe as he did when he was with Sam. At this point, they were so much more than brothers. Dean had never talked to anyone about his emotions, usually he bottled them up or drank them away, but it felt nice to talk to Sam about it.

 

“Can I stay in here tonight?” Dean asked. He knew that he sounded needy and desperate, but he just wanted to feel close to his brother again. Dean had been distancing himself from everyone lately, and he missed falling asleep in Sam’s arms.

 

“Yeah, of course,” Sam answered quickly. Sam was glad that Dean was finally opening up, finally out of his room. Sam always liked sharing a bed with Dean. They crawled under the covers and Sam turned off the lights. He wrapped his arms around his older brother and pulled him close into his chest, facing each other. “Goodnight, Dean. Love you.” Sam mumbled before pressing a light kiss to his brother’s lips.

 

“Love you too, Sammy. ‘Night,” Dean murmured while Sam lightly stroked his brother’s warm skin. “I can’t sleep,” Dean whispered after a while.

 

“Shhh...”Sam said quietly. He began gently humming an old lullaby that Dean used to sing to him when they were younger. As he hummed the song, he could feel his brother relaxing, and finally fall asleep. Sam fell asleep soon after, a soft smile on his lips.


End file.
